I was born, lucky me, possessing a strange but useful talent. Actually, that is a lie, because I was not born with it, and didn’t even discover it until my baby teeth fell out and I got my new front teeth.
What, you may ask, is this talent? I will tell you. I am able to shoot a stream of water between my two front teeth by putting water behind my teeth and pushing with my tongue. I have deadly accuracy and a weird sense of timing, which work together to inspire dread in the souls of all I choose to employ this talent upon.
Anyway, last night at dinner my little six year old brother kept reaching across the table to get the food, instead of asking for it to be passed to him. This annoyed me, especially after he had been told to stop and continued. I decided to take the law into my own hands.
I waited until he did it again, looked to make sure that my parents were not watching, and shot a stream of water across the table at him. There was only one problem. He was at the end of the table, the furthest person away from me, so to make the water reach him I had to shoot it in an arc so it would clear the other people and only sprinkle him. In order to do this I had to shoot it high, and unfortunately it went through our low hanging light fixture and a light bulb exploded. There was a popping sound, a surge of flame, and shards of glass showered down upon the seated family. Our delicious stroganoff was filled with glass, it got in food on people’s plates, in their water, in the butter, and on the floor.
The family sat in stunned silence. I was more silent then the rest. They began speculating as to why the light bulb would explode, but they didn’t know why, because I had spit the water so stealthily that nobody noticed. Except one person. My little brother that I had shot the water at. He soon pointed me out, and I was reprimanded severely (well, told never to do that again).
What I learned from this experience was the sad fact that, in addition to possessing appalling table manners, my little brother is a tattle tale. I must devise a new way of training him, as this one has now been banned.
What, you may ask, is this talent? I will tell you. I am able to shoot a stream of water between my two front teeth by putting water behind my teeth and pushing with my tongue. I have deadly accuracy and a weird sense of timing, which work together to inspire dread in the souls of all I choose to employ this talent upon.
Anyway, last night at dinner my little six year old brother kept reaching across the table to get the food, instead of asking for it to be passed to him. This annoyed me, especially after he had been told to stop and continued. I decided to take the law into my own hands.
I waited until he did it again, looked to make sure that my parents were not watching, and shot a stream of water across the table at him. There was only one problem. He was at the end of the table, the furthest person away from me, so to make the water reach him I had to shoot it in an arc so it would clear the other people and only sprinkle him. In order to do this I had to shoot it high, and unfortunately it went through our low hanging light fixture and a light bulb exploded. There was a popping sound, a surge of flame, and shards of glass showered down upon the seated family. Our delicious stroganoff was filled with glass, it got in food on people’s plates, in their water, in the butter, and on the floor.
The family sat in stunned silence. I was more silent then the rest. They began speculating as to why the light bulb would explode, but they didn’t know why, because I had spit the water so stealthily that nobody noticed. Except one person. My little brother that I had shot the water at. He soon pointed me out, and I was reprimanded severely (well, told never to do that again).
What I learned from this experience was the sad fact that, in addition to possessing appalling table manners, my little brother is a tattle tale. I must devise a new way of training him, as this one has now been banned.
4 comments:
Oh Aliysa that is hilarious!
I always love reading your blogs lissa. Hey we have an Elder here who says his sister is friends with you. He is Elder Kendal (or Kendel) Don't remember how to spell it. Just goes to show how small this world is.
You are so funny! I can just imagine the silence. I love reading your posts.
That is fantastic.
Nice one Aliysa. hey by the way if you are so deadly accurate maybe you could spit it through the light and not hit the light bulb next time.
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