Drivers Ed

I took drivers Ed a long time ago, but I thought that some of the things that happened were too entertaining to pass up writing about. So here some are.

Log book:

After we finish drivers Ed there is a period of time (six months) that we have to spend in supervised driving with a parent or other licensed driver in the seat next to us, put there to be certain that we experience the highest degree of stress possible. During these six months we have to get fifty hours of driving, including ten hours of night driving. They gave us a log book to record our driving time in. It was actually quite humorous. I used it a couple of times, but then made my own in a little notebook, because I would laugh too hard to focus on driving at the information we were supposed to include. Here is a sample drive recorded. The bold words are the stuff we were supposed to include.

Date:

March 8

Driving time:

20 min

Time of day:

1:30

Driving environment:

Driving environment?!?!?! They have to be kidding! Ummm…stressful and humid.

Skills practiced:

Driving. Duh.

Poster:

To end drivers Ed we were supposed to make a poster on anything related to driving. So I decided to do my poster on “The ten commandments of drivers ed.” Heh heh heh. Here they are.

Commandment # 1: Thou shalt know and do thy steps when turning. (Check, signal, check, fade, check, conform, check.)

Commandment # 2: Thou shalt know thy left from thy right.

Commandment # 3: Thou shalt never pop the clutch.

Commandment # 4: Thou shalt never stall nor kill the car.

Commandment # 5: Thou shalt never leave you keys in the car, lest your car get stolen.

Commandment # 6: Thou shalt never look frontward as you back up the car, lest you kill little
children.

Commandment # 7: Thou shalt never pull too far out in an intersection, lest you run over blind
pedestrians.

Commandment # 8: Thou shalt drive in the perfect position in the road, never wavering.

Commandment # 9: Thou shalt never act too happy in a drivers Ed car, thou shalt keep a look of slight depression on thy face and a feeling of gloom, lest you be told that this is not all fun and games, but life and death.

Commandment # 10: Thou shalt be an expert in every thing pertaining to driving, never make any mistakes, and be perfect.

If thou shalt follow all of these commandments thou shalt never get in trouble, get yelled at or be sworn at. But, if thou failest to follow any of the above, any number of terrible misfortunes may come upon you. Be careful. Amen.

Memorable quotes by drivers Ed teachers:

“I told you to “Bleeping” turn right!!!”

“I am not here to waste my time.” Then why are you teaching drivers Ed?

“Well are you just going to sit here until “Heck” freezes over?!?!?!”

“Can’t you do it right?” No. I can’t. Sorry.

“You didn’t get up to the “Dang” light before it turned red!” I can see that, oh wise one.

“Why did you kill the car???!!!” If only I knew....

“I hope you’re having fun, because I’m not.” Oh yes, I am! There is nothing I enjoy more!