Talent # 2

Ah-ha! I have a new talent that I have discovered, and this one is also so unique and special that I feel vain to be recounting it to you. 

I had just washed off our table so nice and shiny, when suddenly I spied a big fat house fly sitting in the center of the newly washed surface with a malicious grin on his face. He was happy to be sitting there spreading filth and corruption! How rude! I was filled with wrath, and I looked down at my hands and saw the wet dish cloth that I had just used to wash the table. Having no other weapon handy, I twisted the dish rag into a whip.

Taking into consideration the atmospheric conditions, the density of the air, gravity, the new slight shift in the earth's tilt given the earthquake in Japan, and the force of trajectory, I snapped the dishrag at the fly.

Time slowed as the tip of the rag sped toward the fly.  The fly took off flying, but I had also taken that into consideration, so the end of the rag snapped the fly with stunning force. I watched with awe as the fly flew and slammed into the wall, bringing down a small shower of plaster on top of it.

I leapt forward and stared at the fly. He didn't even twitch. The Lord had called him home.

 Then the next day, after I had washed the counter top, the same thing happened! A fly alighted on the clean and shiny surface, openly sneering at me.

This time, feeling the workings of fate, I didn't even try to plan. I just snapped the dishrag. It worked again. This time the fly hit the wall even harder, and it actually splatted on the wall! I averted my eyes from the bloody mess, feeling a little bad for the fly. But it had brought it upon its self. But I was still in awe at myself.

So after both of those experiences, I have arrived at the conclusion that I have a talent, let others call it what they may.