My long, and some might say painful, history of haircutting began when I was very young. My mother (she means well) inspired me to cut my own hair by giving me the most ghastly cutting jobs she could imagine. I shall provide you with one out of several examples of what I can only imagine is a somewhat cruel sense of humor. I shall tell you in story form.
"Daughter!" Cried the mother "I have a most wonderful idea!!!" Eight year old daughter, filled as she was at that age with unabounding energy and happiness, bounded over to her mother, little knowing what awaited her. She quickly arrived at her mother's side and looked up at her face with innocence and expectancy.
"I saw the most adorable haircut on someone today." explained the mother. "It was lovely, and layered, and would look wonderful on you! I even asked how they did it to her..." She paused to build suspense "And she told me!" She concluded with a dashing smile.
"How?!" cried daughter, filled with admiration.
"I shall tell you," Said the mother benevolently "They tipped her head upside down and cut the hair in a straight line, then tipped it back right side up, and, ta da! There was her hair, filled with luxuriant layers! and we are going to try it on you!"
"I am obedient and willing to do whatever you want me to do mother!" Cried daughter, who was, and ever has been, a model child. "And besides that, I love to spend time with you!"
"Good girl!" Came the reply, "Off we go!"
Soon daughter's hair was washed, her head flipped upside down, and her mother, with deft and experienced chops of the scissors, cut her upside down hair off in a straight line. The luxuriant red locks fell to the floor in a shining heap, which would have brought tears to the eyes of both the participants, had they not been so absorbed in the project. Finally the mother, after surveying the finished project with a practiced eye, told daughter that she may now flip her head right side up. Daughter obediently did so, and looked at her mother's face. The shocked and horrified look frozen on mother's features caused daughter's beautiful smile to slowly melt from her face as she turned towards the mirror. A stunned silence ensued, lasting the full duration of ten seconds. Then hysterical laughter burst forth from daughter's lips, she being young and finding humor in all things at that age, and hysterical weeping burst from mother's. She had ruined her model child. For there, in the mirror, was a girl with a beautiful face, but her hair was... (heaven save us!) a mullet.
The mother had forgotten that angle was a very important thing when cutting hair, and daughter's head had been tilted to just the wrong angle, which caused the before mentioned mullet. It caused much despair and mirth as word of daughter's misfortune circled throughout the family. The worst part was that it was Saturday night, and there was no time to take the unfortunate girl to get her hair professionally cut. So, her mother sheared it off the best she could, and daughter went about for a long time afterwards with shortish hair.
Daughter in that day grew older and wiser. She trusted nobody with scissors near her locks once they grew out, and she soon proved to have an amazing talent for cutting her own hair. The few minor blunders (Which may be related in later posts) did not discourage her from continuing to improve. Soon her shining, red, self-cut hair was the envy of all the other girls nearby. So this story, sad as it may be in the beginning, has a happy ending.
The End!
"Daughter!" Cried the mother "I have a most wonderful idea!!!" Eight year old daughter, filled as she was at that age with unabounding energy and happiness, bounded over to her mother, little knowing what awaited her. She quickly arrived at her mother's side and looked up at her face with innocence and expectancy.
"I saw the most adorable haircut on someone today." explained the mother. "It was lovely, and layered, and would look wonderful on you! I even asked how they did it to her..." She paused to build suspense "And she told me!" She concluded with a dashing smile.
"How?!" cried daughter, filled with admiration.
"I shall tell you," Said the mother benevolently "They tipped her head upside down and cut the hair in a straight line, then tipped it back right side up, and, ta da! There was her hair, filled with luxuriant layers! and we are going to try it on you!"
"I am obedient and willing to do whatever you want me to do mother!" Cried daughter, who was, and ever has been, a model child. "And besides that, I love to spend time with you!"
"Good girl!" Came the reply, "Off we go!"
Soon daughter's hair was washed, her head flipped upside down, and her mother, with deft and experienced chops of the scissors, cut her upside down hair off in a straight line. The luxuriant red locks fell to the floor in a shining heap, which would have brought tears to the eyes of both the participants, had they not been so absorbed in the project. Finally the mother, after surveying the finished project with a practiced eye, told daughter that she may now flip her head right side up. Daughter obediently did so, and looked at her mother's face. The shocked and horrified look frozen on mother's features caused daughter's beautiful smile to slowly melt from her face as she turned towards the mirror. A stunned silence ensued, lasting the full duration of ten seconds. Then hysterical laughter burst forth from daughter's lips, she being young and finding humor in all things at that age, and hysterical weeping burst from mother's. She had ruined her model child. For there, in the mirror, was a girl with a beautiful face, but her hair was... (heaven save us!) a mullet.
The mother had forgotten that angle was a very important thing when cutting hair, and daughter's head had been tilted to just the wrong angle, which caused the before mentioned mullet. It caused much despair and mirth as word of daughter's misfortune circled throughout the family. The worst part was that it was Saturday night, and there was no time to take the unfortunate girl to get her hair professionally cut. So, her mother sheared it off the best she could, and daughter went about for a long time afterwards with shortish hair.
Daughter in that day grew older and wiser. She trusted nobody with scissors near her locks once they grew out, and she soon proved to have an amazing talent for cutting her own hair. The few minor blunders (Which may be related in later posts) did not discourage her from continuing to improve. Soon her shining, red, self-cut hair was the envy of all the other girls nearby. So this story, sad as it may be in the beginning, has a happy ending.
The End!
2 comments:
I would really love some photographic evidence of this event. :)
I was laughing so hard I was crying. I seriously had tears running down my face.
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