Recommendation

I recently came across this letter of recommendation that I wrote for my brother when he hoped to become a gymnastics assistant, a position that he did ultimately receive, but sadly without my help, as my mother strongly dissuaded me from sending in the letter. Oh well, here it is.

Letter Of Recommendation For Ace

Thursday, May 19, 2011

To Tracy

     In starting, I feel that I should make the purpose of this letter clear, namely, to recommend Ace.  In all my dealings with Ace, which are many, I have found him to be an upstanding, lovely, tan, and altogether recommendable young man (as many admiring young woman would testify).  

     He has made known unto me his desire to serve you in the position of Gymnastics assistant, a position that I feel he would be incredibly suited to qualify for, owing to his superior athletic ability, his ability to create lasting friendships with the children he would work with, and the fact that he has better biceps than most of the competition.  

     He has lived in a situation his whole life (called a family) in which he has been in contact with both older and younger children, and he has adapted remarkably to survive and make the best of it, even resorting to becoming friends with a high percentage of the children, and governing those younger than him with a just and true hand, inspiring sound respect and devotion.

     Ace can also cook, although I do not see how this desirable skill will help him with gaining position as gymnastics assistant, so I will mention it no more in this document. (Although he would be more than willing to make you some cookies or popcorn if that would help to sway you.)

     Ace posses a superior intellect, enabling him to summon devastating comebacks to insults, comfort saddened children, grasp the ethics of complex situations, and talk without stuttering.  

     I might caution that if you employ him as assistant you may notice a alarming influx in the number of young females ages 11 to 14 joining your gymnastics classes.  It is your choice whether or not you want to take this risk.

     All in all, he is a neat package containing just the right amount of ability, humility, confidence, and zeal to make him the perfect dream assistant.

     With highest recommendation,

               Me

If any of my close relatives or friends have found themselves in need of a letter of recommendation lately, I would be happy to, out of the goodness of my heart (and for the small fee of $250) to write them a letter of recommendation.  Thank you.